The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
