i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize