Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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