I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
