I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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