he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
