Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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