my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
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