my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
