Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
