I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
