my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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