Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
