I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
