it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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