Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
