I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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