go do what you do best...puke behind churches
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Randomize
