Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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