will power is for people who don't want to get laid
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize