i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
