Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Randomize
