I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
