your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I came so hard my ears popped.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize