For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
