Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
are you so shy because you have an std?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
