OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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