If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Randomize
