So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
