Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Randomize
