Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
