I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
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