Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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