i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Randomize
