'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
