fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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