I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize