I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
