Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
