She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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