they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize