The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
try to milk me bitch
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