Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
