Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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