I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
God, you're like boner-b-gone
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize