I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
