I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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