also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
