TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize