I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
