hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Can you repeat that, but with context?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
