ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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