Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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