You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
