Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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