you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Randomize