I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
