dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
