Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Randomize
