i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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