the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
