We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
