Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
