Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
