She's JV to your varsity
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
