It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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