We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Who died my cat blue again?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
