If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize