We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
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