it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
