Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I'm at about main and main street
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
