I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
