You made me cry and you don't even care
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
You work out of a Hotel?
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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