She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
